In the South, a lot of us don't keep surnames, it is usually just our father's first name, sometimes reduced to just an initial even in official documents. Marriage doesn't change this. I have both my parents' first names as "surnames."
My dead grandmother would think this government notification is some kind of prank on married women.
Nice piece Mahima. As Tamilians, my husband and I have our respective fathers' names as our surname. For our kids (both boys, may I add), we've gone with <first name> <my first name> <husband's first name>- a lot of people raise eyebrows, but this is the only solution that seemed fair to us.
Having said that, I am not quite sure what to make of the wording of the government notification— what do they mean by “obtain”? Are they referring only to women who once changed their surname to their husband’s and now want to revert to their maiden name? The manner in which the mandate is worded makes it sound like it’s a given for a married woman to have changed her name in the first place.
Funny incident. Did not change my name after marriage as no one demanded and didn't want to go through the hassle of proving that the person in the education qualification certificate is the same as the one who got married :). However while changing the voter id from one state to another the new state the system conveniently added the husband's name as surname to my name as a reminder that I am married. Now my aadhar has one name and voter id has a name gifted by authorities and voter list has original name:). They let me vote and they let me change it, so no complaints. But Kudos to whoever took the pain to add my husband's name to my surname giving me 4 parts to my otherwise very short name
I have another scenario to add here - it's when in temples Pandit ji ask for name. It's usually a women who tells Panditji to offer coconut and saari to Devi and Panditji ask for name so that he can tell Devi that this this person has offered you something. When he asks the name he expects women's married surname. And I have to go to temples either with my MiL or my mom. And as I have not changed my name, I tell Panditji my first name. My mom gets furious everytime I do this. And asks me to tell my family name. I find it irritating but comical everytime this happens with me and mom in picture. But I make sure I fight it out everytime with her. My MiL is much refined than my mom, she doesn't get furious on me. But she gives another name which is my husband's full name to Panditji herself. I feel guilty after that, thinking I did not give her son's name. Then when I think about this whole scenario it feels so idiotic and yet I feel guilty whenever this happens.
Nice reading your views Mahima. I guess I'm lucky to be married and living in Tamil Nadu; I never even had a conversation on changing my surname after marriage. Though we did leave a few confused while registering for the Aadhaar or PDS cards post marriage, nobody gave us a sermon. And my son's surname is both our first names combined... You could add it to Option 5!!
Great post as usual Mahima! I’d written a post on a similar topic a while ago as well including how we ended up with the name of our child - hint, it was Option 3.
In the South, a lot of us don't keep surnames, it is usually just our father's first name, sometimes reduced to just an initial even in official documents. Marriage doesn't change this. I have both my parents' first names as "surnames."
My dead grandmother would think this government notification is some kind of prank on married women.
Nice piece Mahima. As Tamilians, my husband and I have our respective fathers' names as our surname. For our kids (both boys, may I add), we've gone with <first name> <my first name> <husband's first name>- a lot of people raise eyebrows, but this is the only solution that seemed fair to us.
Thank you, Mahima, for bringing this most disconcerting judicial development to our notice.
As someone who actively rejects all symbols of marital status, this piece of news is both bloodcurdling and heartbreaking.
I have written about the politics of altering one’s given name here (https://richa.substack.com/p/whats-in-a-middle-name), should you be interested in reading it.
Having said that, I am not quite sure what to make of the wording of the government notification— what do they mean by “obtain”? Are they referring only to women who once changed their surname to their husband’s and now want to revert to their maiden name? The manner in which the mandate is worded makes it sound like it’s a given for a married woman to have changed her name in the first place.
Funny incident. Did not change my name after marriage as no one demanded and didn't want to go through the hassle of proving that the person in the education qualification certificate is the same as the one who got married :). However while changing the voter id from one state to another the new state the system conveniently added the husband's name as surname to my name as a reminder that I am married. Now my aadhar has one name and voter id has a name gifted by authorities and voter list has original name:). They let me vote and they let me change it, so no complaints. But Kudos to whoever took the pain to add my husband's name to my surname giving me 4 parts to my otherwise very short name
I have another scenario to add here - it's when in temples Pandit ji ask for name. It's usually a women who tells Panditji to offer coconut and saari to Devi and Panditji ask for name so that he can tell Devi that this this person has offered you something. When he asks the name he expects women's married surname. And I have to go to temples either with my MiL or my mom. And as I have not changed my name, I tell Panditji my first name. My mom gets furious everytime I do this. And asks me to tell my family name. I find it irritating but comical everytime this happens with me and mom in picture. But I make sure I fight it out everytime with her. My MiL is much refined than my mom, she doesn't get furious on me. But she gives another name which is my husband's full name to Panditji herself. I feel guilty after that, thinking I did not give her son's name. Then when I think about this whole scenario it feels so idiotic and yet I feel guilty whenever this happens.
Nice reading your views Mahima. I guess I'm lucky to be married and living in Tamil Nadu; I never even had a conversation on changing my surname after marriage. Though we did leave a few confused while registering for the Aadhaar or PDS cards post marriage, nobody gave us a sermon. And my son's surname is both our first names combined... You could add it to Option 5!!
Here's my story on my name on why it is impossible to fathom a person without a surname. But as Biharis it is now our second nature to explain what and why ...https://savvysoumya.substack.com/p/name-place-animal-thing-savvy-soumya . Also a second part here on the transformation of the name https://savvysoumya.substack.com/p/name-place-animal-thing-savvy-soumya-f1c.
Great post as usual Mahima! I’d written a post on a similar topic a while ago as well including how we ended up with the name of our child - hint, it was Option 3.
https://pavanapuresan.medium.com/pandemic-parenting-pains-on-baby-names-e0079727ea43?