Once upon a time, I enjoyed lifting. But that ended when I noticed how creepy my PT was being. He'd stand too close, flirt, make inappropriate comments. I find it difficult to go to the gym because of creepy men. I've been followed around by a male gym-goer who wanted to know my schedule. But it's also hard to go to the gym when I hear from my family about how dangerous gyms are and how I would fare better if I did yoga at home. And also as woman, they tell me, I shouldn't look like a pehelwan. So much guilt and fear to just workout? Last year, a bunch of teenage boys followed me when I went out for an afternoon stroll in the park outside my house. Now I just pace in my room like a ghost. I liked reading this post, it's so affirming. Maybe if there were women-only gyms with women trainers and staff.
I wish to learn swimming but don't have guts to go enrol myself for a course, because- 'log kya kahenge.'
My mom, who had an operation in her foot and her bones are supported with rod, daily goes to the gym and walk. But if she gets little late and the cook had arrived, then she is made to reconsider her choices.
Outside my apartment, there is a park. Everyday, boys and uncles play badminton on a self imagined court as if they are the champions. But never have I ever seen their mothers, wives and daughters playing with them or playing together, and I wonder why? Is there health not important? Or probably they might be busy preparing food for these lads.
I started my gym journey at 36..am now 57...while I didn't encounter any creeps, many would ask me why I was training so hard since I was a woman...spouse included...
why was I spending so much time in the gym, where there were so many men... walking was a better exercise anyway...
Great Article! Have shared on all the possible channels. Specially where the Gym creeps follow me. In a hope they will read this. We have to overcome so many barriers to go and stay in the gym. We have to take these efforts consciously. I started working out regularly when I moved to a city away from my parents. When I went home and joined a gym there, my father said whatever you are wearing doesn't look good. Wear longer tshirts. After doing regular workouts and following feminist social handles I had become confident. I replied him saying I don't wear these clothes to look good, I wear it because they are comfortable during the workout.
One lady in the gym told me, when I am doing certain exercises, Men in the gym look at my buttocks. Old me would have been scared and angry. I told her I have buttocks, what possibly can I do? They want to see they can see. I don't it's ocd or fear of being fat or just love for excercise, I can't live away from gym or run for a long time.
We need to build the confidence to show fingers to these people who are possibly trying to keep us away from what we want to do.
Thank for bringing up another issue that half the society is happily oblivious to. That said, the unfortunate fact is that we women need to take a stand for ourselves more often than we should have to. I have realised that the best way to draw strength to do that, is by leaning on your tribe. This goes back to your post last week about women's friendships.
Yes, some challenges are absolutely abhorrent and better avoided, like those which affect personal safety and well being. Beyond that, feeling guilty, judged or discouraged are all real issues and while it is totally understandable to walk away, I have experienced that sometimes it is worthwhile to face the demons (with a LOT of moral and emotional support from friends and therapists). My humble submission- please don't suffer in silence, talk about your challenges with people you trust, try and draw the courage to stand up to creeps and judgy people, claim your right to your body and your good health. We are more capable than we think.
I have had a passion for fitness since I was a teenager, and now I have a toddler, a full-time job, and I am also a yoga instructor. Nothing comes easy. I have to wake up early to squeeze in my practice or if I am teaching anyone. I don't have the option to sleep on time because my baby isn't sleeping, and apparently, according to my husband, she needs me at night and he cannot manage. In a nutshell, I cannot sleep early, and I cannot wake up late because I have to get her ready for school and then start my own work. Just to be able to live my passion, I have to choose - sleep or yoga.
I had gained weight since childhood. Everyone advised me to loose the weight, but no one supported. It took me many years to take time and spend money for my fitness. Even now, I cannot wear my yoga clothes outdoor, not even in the porch of the house, because I live in an Indian village.
One more thing, I would like to point about the morning/evening walk. I know many cases of hit and run during the walk on the roads. It is very unsafe to walk on roads, especially in our area because of the sand transporting dumpers.
What a great line: Women have been handing men their handkerchiefs for generations now. It is time men handed women their running shoes.
Once upon a time, I enjoyed lifting. But that ended when I noticed how creepy my PT was being. He'd stand too close, flirt, make inappropriate comments. I find it difficult to go to the gym because of creepy men. I've been followed around by a male gym-goer who wanted to know my schedule. But it's also hard to go to the gym when I hear from my family about how dangerous gyms are and how I would fare better if I did yoga at home. And also as woman, they tell me, I shouldn't look like a pehelwan. So much guilt and fear to just workout? Last year, a bunch of teenage boys followed me when I went out for an afternoon stroll in the park outside my house. Now I just pace in my room like a ghost. I liked reading this post, it's so affirming. Maybe if there were women-only gyms with women trainers and staff.
A very interesting article.
I wish to learn swimming but don't have guts to go enrol myself for a course, because- 'log kya kahenge.'
My mom, who had an operation in her foot and her bones are supported with rod, daily goes to the gym and walk. But if she gets little late and the cook had arrived, then she is made to reconsider her choices.
Outside my apartment, there is a park. Everyday, boys and uncles play badminton on a self imagined court as if they are the champions. But never have I ever seen their mothers, wives and daughters playing with them or playing together, and I wonder why? Is there health not important? Or probably they might be busy preparing food for these lads.
Absolutely!
I started my gym journey at 36..am now 57...while I didn't encounter any creeps, many would ask me why I was training so hard since I was a woman...spouse included...
why was I spending so much time in the gym, where there were so many men... walking was a better exercise anyway...
Great Article! Have shared on all the possible channels. Specially where the Gym creeps follow me. In a hope they will read this. We have to overcome so many barriers to go and stay in the gym. We have to take these efforts consciously. I started working out regularly when I moved to a city away from my parents. When I went home and joined a gym there, my father said whatever you are wearing doesn't look good. Wear longer tshirts. After doing regular workouts and following feminist social handles I had become confident. I replied him saying I don't wear these clothes to look good, I wear it because they are comfortable during the workout.
One lady in the gym told me, when I am doing certain exercises, Men in the gym look at my buttocks. Old me would have been scared and angry. I told her I have buttocks, what possibly can I do? They want to see they can see. I don't it's ocd or fear of being fat or just love for excercise, I can't live away from gym or run for a long time.
We need to build the confidence to show fingers to these people who are possibly trying to keep us away from what we want to do.
Very well done Tanaya! More power to you and every woman like you!
Thank for bringing up another issue that half the society is happily oblivious to. That said, the unfortunate fact is that we women need to take a stand for ourselves more often than we should have to. I have realised that the best way to draw strength to do that, is by leaning on your tribe. This goes back to your post last week about women's friendships.
Yes, some challenges are absolutely abhorrent and better avoided, like those which affect personal safety and well being. Beyond that, feeling guilty, judged or discouraged are all real issues and while it is totally understandable to walk away, I have experienced that sometimes it is worthwhile to face the demons (with a LOT of moral and emotional support from friends and therapists). My humble submission- please don't suffer in silence, talk about your challenges with people you trust, try and draw the courage to stand up to creeps and judgy people, claim your right to your body and your good health. We are more capable than we think.
Hear hear!
I have had a passion for fitness since I was a teenager, and now I have a toddler, a full-time job, and I am also a yoga instructor. Nothing comes easy. I have to wake up early to squeeze in my practice or if I am teaching anyone. I don't have the option to sleep on time because my baby isn't sleeping, and apparently, according to my husband, she needs me at night and he cannot manage. In a nutshell, I cannot sleep early, and I cannot wake up late because I have to get her ready for school and then start my own work. Just to be able to live my passion, I have to choose - sleep or yoga.
I had gained weight since childhood. Everyone advised me to loose the weight, but no one supported. It took me many years to take time and spend money for my fitness. Even now, I cannot wear my yoga clothes outdoor, not even in the porch of the house, because I live in an Indian village.
One more thing, I would like to point about the morning/evening walk. I know many cases of hit and run during the walk on the roads. It is very unsafe to walk on roads, especially in our area because of the sand transporting dumpers.