13 Comments

I had to take breaks while reading this. The trauma was palpable. The words were hard hitting.

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Thank you for feeling the pain so deeply, Abhijith.

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Thanks Mahima for sharing such an intimate and important incident from your life. I was aware of some of these problems but the details.... the details make you realize the horrors of this story! I or any other man can only empathise, we cannot feel the pain you went through or countless other like you who have faced worse. Needless to remind you that you are a terrific writer whose choice of words are style of narration can make it a story worth remembering. So please don't worry about the reactions. You are doing great!

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Thank you Saket! Really appreciate it :)

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This trauma is unimaginable. I wish I hadn't learned two new concepts today - obstetric violence and birth rape. It must have been such a challenge to first face and then almost relive that trauma when you accessed those memories to able to write about it in such a real way. More power and love to you for turning the spotlight on an issue we all need to learn more about and tackle!

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Great Chronicles of what women go through in this country. Good work Mahima

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Thanks so much Mahima for talking about many critical topics in a woman's life. This specific topic is hardly talked about and woman themselves try to keep it hushed up, without realising what their silence is costing the future moms

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Thank you Sowjanya!

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Personally I can’t feel what you went through ( deeply sorry and I empathize with you ) but having seen several cases of doctors outright recommending C-section ( with no obvious reason or need to explain ) made me feel , Deliverying a baby has become about money , at least in some places... đŸ˜ŒđŸ˜Œ

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Thank you Ajay. I think anything done by the doc not in the best interest of the patient is criminal - whether it is pushing for a c section when a natural delivery is possible, or pushing for a natural delivery when a c section is necessary or is what the patient is demanding. I've heard of both kinds of cases, sadly.

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Hi, Mahima! I recently heard you talk about your amusingly inspiring life story on Amit's podcast. I recently gave up on civil services prep after slogging for almost 4 years and listening to your UPSC journey only solidified my voice of reason so thank you! Hearing you talk so effortlessly totally felt like conversing with my elder sister. :)

I wanted to let you know that I'm very proud of what you're doing and who you've come to be as a woman. I admire you for choosing to face the fear inside and instead letting the words inside you flow for all of us to enjoy and feel empowered. :)

Coming to this blog, it must've taken so much of your energy and willpower to go through all of this in your head again and put your riveting story, among others', out into the world. I salute you and all the women you've mentioned and hope that some change would gradually come about in terms of Indian healthcare and cultural mindset. So much indeed needs to happen on the ground and I hope to, like you, become a changemaker, in years to come. :)

Until next time,

Much love,

Priya. <3

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First time I don't agree to many things said here. Really sorry for what you went through but couple of things-

1. Pregnancy is a super long period and one should select doctor based on pedigree (for me this is sacrosanct), reviews on Google and practo and your personal meetings. We all are different and need different things from our doctors e.g I am extremely emotional and I needed my doctor to hear me out without judging me. We found our doctor after a long research and meeting many doctors.

2. If you get multiple red flags change doctor or shout it out. trust me speaking is really important.

3. C sec is an operation , saying things like comical horse injection is really not necessary. I get that you angry but refrain from creating more fear. I too had c sec and I was shit scared and my anesthesia doctor, he was an angel (the protocol is for them to literally narrate every thing they do ) but this protocol just made me more anxious so I asked him just do waht you want but don't tell me . Again discuss and share what you have in mind , how you like things to be.

4. Waiting despite your appointment is common in medical and my own husband cribbed about that. But ever wondered why would that happen. When we expect our doctors to be compassionate towards us should we also not try to be more considerate as well ? People pop babies 24*7 and just before my appointment my doc rushed out of her room to attend another patient in labour. I really can't blame her for that , infact I appreciated that she worked long hours to attend to me instead of cancelling on us.

You have excellent style of writing and coupled with power of social media and your client base it would help to share a balanced view and probably a best practices guide on how o really find your obstetrician đŸ˜€

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Hi Aparna, after seeing your comment I went and re-read the whole newsletter to find out what is there to disagree here. I couldn't find any judgements, it was just author's birthing experience shared along with her emotions and feelings as she went through it. Was there anything in this newsletter that indicated that the author or any other women not considerate towards doctors? I am happy you got an angel doctor, but not everybody is lucky and privileged. Lot of horrors happen in govt. hospitals much worse than those described here. Woman traditionally have accepted this as their fate and swallowed it up. This kind of harassment can add to PPD and other psychological issues. Stress, overwork can not be an excuse to ill-treat people in pain. I think this newsletter does a great job of speaking about the unspoken so that it can inspire some change. I think the internet is full of articles on how to choose a gynecologist and how to prepare for delivery, one more well-written article is not going to drive change. There is a lot of purpose in the way womaning is picking up un-spoken sensitive topics which are often brushed under the rug. I hope and wish more and more woman speak up rather than stay silent.

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