This is a fabulous write up! I am 40, divorced and a single mum and about 8 mo ago i joined Bumble...I was more looking at exclusivity and not a marriage... But 8 mo down the line I realized that online dating is surely not for me so I chose to quit... Feel definitely lighter after quitting.
You have touched quite a few nerve points, in though in India it is increasingly becoming difficult to stay alone, independent as society for all things said verbally, action wise depict something totally different
You write so eloquenty, probably it is time consuming too.
But please dont peddle junk science on marriage. It takes away the seriousness of issues you take up,of which most are genuine and useful especially in case of India.
I am linking some actual papers and I hope you will link them in your next post and let your readers decide which is "Science" and which is not.
some evidence from Denmark, furthering your point, but not exactly as there is a little subset in which women having lower LE is true.
AND a heuristic you can use while communicating science esp related to behavioural and psych science - news links which dont provide the hyperlink to the paper they are talking of AND psych science (happiness et al) is most of the times junk (except evolutionary psychology)
Personal Opinion on why you should link these -- I think if any of the partner goes with his/her radars up in a relationship or on their toes all time without mutual respect (which some impressionable young woman could do as she will think marriage is of no use to me personally, which will be contrary to available evidence); it makes it tougher to make something beautiful together, which is then a self fulfilling logic. A happy and loving marriage is useful & helpful for both the sexes and it cant be loving if either of them go with their radars up of getting a raw deal.
I have no qualms about any other issues which you highlight ; are genuine and funny, sometimes. (investment in app, preparing dinner like my mother and NRI one etc etc)
I agree some women have miserable married lives than being single. One of my friend is in such a situation. From serving food to folding and ironing his clothing, she has to do everything for her husband. To make matters worse, he even demands and receives legs massage at night before sleep just when both of them are equally dead and exhausted. She tried contesting for the massage bit but was yelled and forced to give in when he became loud and aggressive. She is too scared of divorce so continues to suffer in silence.
This is a fabulous write up! I am 40, divorced and a single mum and about 8 mo ago i joined Bumble...I was more looking at exclusivity and not a marriage... But 8 mo down the line I realized that online dating is surely not for me so I chose to quit... Feel definitely lighter after quitting.
Very engaging...couldn't stop reading until the end. Absolutely love the way you enrich your articles with stories - they're deeply insightful
Keep up the good work! :-)
You have touched quite a few nerve points, in though in India it is increasingly becoming difficult to stay alone, independent as society for all things said verbally, action wise depict something totally different
Great series. And some real TIL moments.
You write so eloquenty, probably it is time consuming too.
But please dont peddle junk science on marriage. It takes away the seriousness of issues you take up,of which most are genuine and useful especially in case of India.
I am linking some actual papers and I hope you will link them in your next post and let your readers decide which is "Science" and which is not.
1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_marriage_really_bad_for_womens_happiness
write-up for the love book
2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7452000/
an actual paper comparing ALE and TLE by marital status in USA (tough to find papers of other countries)
3. https://read.dukeupress.edu/demography/article/47/2/313/169822/How-does-the-age-gap-between-partners-affect-their
some evidence from Denmark, furthering your point, but not exactly as there is a little subset in which women having lower LE is true.
AND a heuristic you can use while communicating science esp related to behavioural and psych science - news links which dont provide the hyperlink to the paper they are talking of AND psych science (happiness et al) is most of the times junk (except evolutionary psychology)
Personal Opinion on why you should link these -- I think if any of the partner goes with his/her radars up in a relationship or on their toes all time without mutual respect (which some impressionable young woman could do as she will think marriage is of no use to me personally, which will be contrary to available evidence); it makes it tougher to make something beautiful together, which is then a self fulfilling logic. A happy and loving marriage is useful & helpful for both the sexes and it cant be loving if either of them go with their radars up of getting a raw deal.
I have no qualms about any other issues which you highlight ; are genuine and funny, sometimes. (investment in app, preparing dinner like my mother and NRI one etc etc)
Loved reading this! And would love a story on couples choosing to not have kids in India and the gyan that flows in from all parts of the society.
I agree some women have miserable married lives than being single. One of my friend is in such a situation. From serving food to folding and ironing his clothing, she has to do everything for her husband. To make matters worse, he even demands and receives legs massage at night before sleep just when both of them are equally dead and exhausted. She tried contesting for the massage bit but was yelled and forced to give in when he became loud and aggressive. She is too scared of divorce so continues to suffer in silence.
This is heartbreaking, Divya. I hope your friend is aware that she is being abused.