Issue #94: Why women don't fight back.
Reading this made my skin crawl,so iam wondering as a victim, would we be able to even understand the level of trauma you must have undergone. Unfortunately, the system is broken, and I wish we had special courts wherein harassment cases had to be cleared up within a week, then more people will come forward to identify such monsters.
Take care MV, it is tough to write such stark pieces and be mentally calm.
One more reason why women don't fight back -- they are too stunned or revulsed to do so. Young girls only experience this; no one talks about this. Some eventually learn to fight back Many never do for all the pertinent reasons mentioned in this post.
Training for both boys n girls on all possible forms of abuse is essential. They need to know that such an act is wrong. They need to know of all options to exercise in such circumstances. It can't be left to one's wits.
The question is WHO WILL or CAN TEACH? School yeachers? Parents?
I.. don't really know what to say except sorry and thank you. And neither do justice.
This is a most incredible piece, Mahima.
I had a something similar happen to me. It was in Chennai. I was probably 16, it was a crowded bus and I was seated by the aisle. A man standing by my seat started rubbing his thing on my shoulder. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. All I know was that I felt so scared and so so uncomfortable. Did I glare at him to back off? Did I turn so he couldn't reach my shoulder? Did I consider giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe it was just a crowded bus? After reading your piece, I imagined myself punching his face till it bled. Kudos to you for your courage to fight back!
My younger one is 16. One day in the metro, I saw him glaring at someone. I followed his gaze and found a man looking away. When I asked the kid what happened, he told me he found the man looking at me inappropriately, so he decided to make him uncomfortable so he'd leave me alone. When I asked if he did that to others also, he said that sometimes his friends joined him in glaring at the perp, but if she seemed unaware he did it himself. If even some of today's kids are like mine, I'm hoping the future may be brighter than the past.
Sending you a big hug. That incident was so traumatic
This made me tear up.
In anger, in helplessness, in shame (of my male privilege and that so many of my friends and family must have suffered this without my knowledge)
And most of all in despair.
How long will this take to change?
Will it ever?
Of course, we must, must make a start with all that you have mentioned as actionable points, Mahima.
Thank you for writing this and making it possible for so many to talk about this.
This. Mahima. This.
I see so many people respond with ‘ab kya karein’, most of them have sons. I would get enraged (because, me a man, rage mode works all the time). I would use these pointers towards the end of this fabulous post from now on. Also, if we can raise one son to be more sensitive and less entitled, I guess world will change gradually and then suddenly.
You are just fabulous Mahima, but you know that already. All those whose stories you feature, much warmth their way too. Thank you for what you are doing. #MahaMahima
Our sons need to be educated. Unless violence within the four walls of the house stops or continues without any action, children will learn that violence against women is OK - there might be some outpour but eventually the lady comes back. If violence is what you see growing up, even though it might make one angry at the perpetrator, it also normalizes the same in their eyes. Violence is not ok in any form - this need to be taught to all boys not only from their parents but from schools and society. It is only now that we have movies which showcase these - 'Pink' or 'Thappad'.
Thank you Mahima, please keep writing.
Thank you for writing this.
I found it so hard to read last week's post, it was triggering, upsetting and very much needed. It is so sad that these lewd acts are faced by nearly all women across the board.
I have beaten a man with an umbrella and thrown him down the stairs in a packed and busy Mumbai train station, no one bothered to stop and ask what was wrong but at least I got some satisfaction.
This is so powerful and difficult and infuriating. Thank you for doing this every week.
I read this incident, I feel this is worst incident I ever heard.. Feeling very bad for this things happening till now
Today I want to highlight one more side of this things mam
In a family of 3, Husband is fighting battle with cancer from Last 3-4 yrs he is not earnings. Continuosly mental tortured by his wife that he should give money for his life maintanence of his son
She says if he can't make arrangements of funds , he should sell his kidney because he will be dying today/ tomorrow
Is this a right way to treat his husband?
Is this not mental assault?
Incident2 Girl is victim card in org. Against men And everyone is like with that girl and nobody is able to support that men
Sorry to say there is lot fake femisnm, women empowerment
if u would have guidance for boys how to deal such type of situation it would have a better' thing