The norm is the same in Kerala. Husbands have names like "listen", "look here' (nokkoo) etc. On the top many call "chetta" , which means elder. This goes even crazier. My grandmother used to call my cousin by a different name. When I asked why she told me that my cousin's original name is my grandpa's name too. So, you are not supposed to utter your pathi's name even if you are calling someone else. Which reminded me of this story :
After 41 days of vratham (godly routine dedicated to devotion ), s Malathi started her journey to Sabarimala. Needless to say, she is older than 60. People go to Sabarimala in groups. There will be a main Swamy (everyone addresses each other as Swamy during that period) which leads the way. They have a pretty catchy slogan while travelling "swamiye ayyapa". Ayyappan is the god sitting in Sabarimala. The main swami will shout "swamiye" and the followers should shout "ayyappa".. This will happen everywhere. In the bus, train, and tea shops. It is a signal that many swamis (godly people) are coming and you need to make space for them. But many found Malathi mumbling when she was supposed to shout "ayyappa". When it was a large group she was not noticeable. But one day it was only the main Swamy and her two kids. The main swami heard the mumble behind and gazed with anger. He repeated
"swamiye"
Malathi closed her eyes and shouted "Kuttyolde acha" ( father of my kids.)
I have no idea about voldermort and the talw he is from so those references and gifs made me feel I am really old. That said, I feel Have seen all this way too closely but am thankful to God that no such invisible-ता was around me growing up. Nobody was preaching to anyone about ‘don’t call him by his name’।
यू आर बैक and I am so thrilled. I cannot wait to be shown the mirror and to look for things where O earlier thought nothing exists.
You are doing God’s work and I hope these attacks on you don’t affect you too badly. I am sorry on behalf of these men.
Thanks for such an informative post. Being American, I did not know about this practice. Glad to see that some Indian women are able to push back on this cultural norm.
ughh yeah so true. Havent faced this personally but it was rampant in the previous generation. Plus since we have multi cultural groups the language tends to be english where its not an issue. In Bengal both husband and wife are expected to use the "tum" pronoun for each other instead of the more familiar "tu" which is what we would use with friends. Seen some relatives be very demanding on this for both men & women but most folks just ignore it & carry on. Hopefully even the "little things" are also imporving
Interestingly, it was me (& not my wife) who has been pulled up on more than one occasion by elders in my family, for not conversing with my wife in a "respectful" tone. The respectful tone in this case would have been subtle changes to the verbs used in a sentence (in Bengali or Hindi).
Well....now in modern time people call their love one or husband hubby... Hallo honey... Hallo dear.. Hallo darling..Hallo my love...Hallo baby....just like that in India our ancestors call eachother ....sunte ho sunti ho .....Roshni ki maa ....Roshni k babuji....etc... there is nothing wrong... wife call his husband sunte ho..... husband call her wife sunti ho...
The norm is the same in Kerala. Husbands have names like "listen", "look here' (nokkoo) etc. On the top many call "chetta" , which means elder. This goes even crazier. My grandmother used to call my cousin by a different name. When I asked why she told me that my cousin's original name is my grandpa's name too. So, you are not supposed to utter your pathi's name even if you are calling someone else. Which reminded me of this story :
After 41 days of vratham (godly routine dedicated to devotion ), s Malathi started her journey to Sabarimala. Needless to say, she is older than 60. People go to Sabarimala in groups. There will be a main Swamy (everyone addresses each other as Swamy during that period) which leads the way. They have a pretty catchy slogan while travelling "swamiye ayyapa". Ayyappan is the god sitting in Sabarimala. The main swami will shout "swamiye" and the followers should shout "ayyappa".. This will happen everywhere. In the bus, train, and tea shops. It is a signal that many swamis (godly people) are coming and you need to make space for them. But many found Malathi mumbling when she was supposed to shout "ayyappa". When it was a large group she was not noticeable. But one day it was only the main Swamy and her two kids. The main swami heard the mumble behind and gazed with anger. He repeated
"swamiye"
Malathi closed her eyes and shouted "Kuttyolde acha" ( father of my kids.)
------------------------------
Her husband's name was also Ayyappan
What a lovely post. I love the ideas that you pick!
Also, fun fact: For the first 8 years of my life, I thought my father's name was "suno" because my mother used to call him that.
I have no idea about voldermort and the talw he is from so those references and gifs made me feel I am really old. That said, I feel Have seen all this way too closely but am thankful to God that no such invisible-ता was around me growing up. Nobody was preaching to anyone about ‘don’t call him by his name’।
यू आर बैक and I am so thrilled. I cannot wait to be shown the mirror and to look for things where O earlier thought nothing exists.
You are doing God’s work and I hope these attacks on you don’t affect you too badly. I am sorry on behalf of these men.
Thanks for such an informative post. Being American, I did not know about this practice. Glad to see that some Indian women are able to push back on this cultural norm.
Solid post!! And I really enjoyed all the memes and graphics haha! welcome back <3
Look who's back with a bang!
No one in the family verbally called out me calling my husband by his name, but eyes were often rolled, and I took so much sadistic pleasure in that 😬
And 'taste their husband’s names on their tongues' is pure gold. Welcome back, Mahima ❤️
So excited for Womaning dwiteeya. Awesome post as always! Love how you used HP references in the piece 🙌🏽
Funny, sad and true!!
ughh yeah so true. Havent faced this personally but it was rampant in the previous generation. Plus since we have multi cultural groups the language tends to be english where its not an issue. In Bengal both husband and wife are expected to use the "tum" pronoun for each other instead of the more familiar "tu" which is what we would use with friends. Seen some relatives be very demanding on this for both men & women but most folks just ignore it & carry on. Hopefully even the "little things" are also imporving
Interestingly, it was me (& not my wife) who has been pulled up on more than one occasion by elders in my family, for not conversing with my wife in a "respectful" tone. The respectful tone in this case would have been subtle changes to the verbs used in a sentence (in Bengali or Hindi).
We now stick with English in a public forum! :-)
what a coincidence. I was watching harry potter and goblet of fire yesterday, just blown away with the writing Mahima. keep up the good work.
Well....now in modern time people call their love one or husband hubby... Hallo honey... Hallo dear.. Hallo darling..Hallo my love...Hallo baby....just like that in India our ancestors call eachother ....sunte ho sunti ho .....Roshni ki maa ....Roshni k babuji....etc... there is nothing wrong... wife call his husband sunte ho..... husband call her wife sunti ho...
suno tum na, bahut hee woh ho.
wo maane the worst person you can think of. Now chill and get your parents out of the gutter in the basement
Writer Mahima Vasisht
You ban the public ?!!
That is a cowardly act.
You ban and run away so people cannot even respond.
Ha ha ha ha ha
Hello !!!
Shows you lack experience of REAL LIFE.
Immature, Unrealistic and Impractical.
Society would definitely say you are among those impatient ones who would just throw a marriage away and walk out of family.
So Wake Up.
Feminism is self-destructive.
You want YES BOSS readers. You do not get it.
You are intolerant, ignorant and arrogant.
Beyond those few gone-astray ones and some flatterers, your circle of admirers would not go beyond.
Are you sure you are eligible to ban people ?
If you are hyper-sensitive, writing on public domain is not for you.
Open your Eyes & See
REAL LIFE has BANNED YOU.
You have proven to be a plain INCOMPETENT LOSER in REAL LIFE.
😊