Fantastic piece Mahima. Great narrative. You begin with a personal story - lace it with sliced of self detracting humor and then take us deeper into tougher stories of other women. And nice check at the end in italics- reminding the reader that all these women are also beautiful :).
Your style makes it an easy read yet you do not hold back laying hard punches!
Loved this article, especially because it seems so close to heart (buried deep in the muscle and fat :) ). Fat shaming, from those terrible limericks in school, to being told how I must lose weight else I wont be fit enough to get a job post engineering (I know, its ridiculous), to being told by an aunty very much like Seema Aunty from Indian Matchmaking, that "excess weight" looks fine on men, but is an absolute no no in women, are just few of the umpteen times I have had to go through this. Thank you for writing about this, and bringing awareness about the subtle way in which people can be cruel, perhaps unknowingly, but nonetheless need to stop.
Very well written. Would like to add from my experience..thanks to my genes , I have petite looks. Through out my 14 years of corporate career, I was lashed out by my male counterparts( and female as well) that opportunities came to me cos of my looks. This pissed me off so much and not to mention the trust issues I had. To avoid this perception , I spent so many early years of my career with a very distant and stiff approach with people around me.
It’s like no matter how a women looks, tongues will wag. Like you said, we need to believe in our own self.
Well said. I was about to write a comment when I saw another title "All the Single Ladies" and I read through it. I think the root cause for loads of issues faced due to looks is that being a single women is tough. Men also might be facing similar pressure from society when they are unemployed but good part is that the employment criteria only comes into picture when a person has reached a ~slightly matured age and, therefore, is very less impacted by what others say. But in case of women, the self-confidence is highly shattered due to early collisions with pre-conceived and baseless notions of society.
Mahima, what I like about all your newsletters is how effortlessly you have nailed the voice of it. That is such a difficult art and I am a bit jealous of that. Amazing stuff all round.
Regarding the content and the stories you weave around your topic , i love it. Keep writing.
Thank you Sanket, I work really hard on the voice so it is so lovely to read that it came across the way I wanted it to! If it makes you feel any better, I edit and re-edit at least 10 times before posting every edition. So not so effortless after all! :)
Let me not even get started on the complexion bit. I own my skin color today but it took me at least 25 years to shut the mouths and the snide remarks around the correlation between my skin tone and my "shaadi". Till date, as my family "hunts a groom" for me, there are comments around the skin tone and other addendums like the age, the height, "the dowry" and "the way I TALK". But it is so satisfying to call out such behaviors and show them a nice "EXIT" board from my life before they can inflict any further damage. :) Thank you for picking real stories and real behavioral issues to fight, Mahima. <3 Keep at it. Looking forward to tomorrow. :)
Makes me think and carefully screen through my past for my own crimes of bodyshaming. Bihari married to tamilian I had to explain to her that her dark skin may invite some comments from my extended family and God was that challenging. And with my 12 yr daughter right now against wearing dress/ shorts I find myself in delicate situation again. Trying to balance between supporting her choices at the same time trying to tell her, it should be HER choice and not let others definitions of appropriate dressing dictate her choices.
Sensitivity is the key I guess. But it's thin ropewalk for sure
More power to dads like you, Mridumesh! Just the fact that we make an effort to unlearn all the regressive values that society and pop culture have taught us is everything! 12 might be old for it but have you read her the book Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls? It is full of stories of strong, successful women (of all colours, shapes and sizes). Sometimes, knowing that women like that came before her can be the most empowering thing to know for a young lady. ❤️
A lot of times, things actually happen in much more cruel ways to girls and women......
Fantastic piece Mahima. Great narrative. You begin with a personal story - lace it with sliced of self detracting humor and then take us deeper into tougher stories of other women. And nice check at the end in italics- reminding the reader that all these women are also beautiful :).
Your style makes it an easy read yet you do not hold back laying hard punches!
Thank you for reading so observantly! And thank you so much for taking the time to leave that kind kind comment!
Loved this article, especially because it seems so close to heart (buried deep in the muscle and fat :) ). Fat shaming, from those terrible limericks in school, to being told how I must lose weight else I wont be fit enough to get a job post engineering (I know, its ridiculous), to being told by an aunty very much like Seema Aunty from Indian Matchmaking, that "excess weight" looks fine on men, but is an absolute no no in women, are just few of the umpteen times I have had to go through this. Thank you for writing about this, and bringing awareness about the subtle way in which people can be cruel, perhaps unknowingly, but nonetheless need to stop.
A big fat hug, from my chakki to yours <3
Very well written. Would like to add from my experience..thanks to my genes , I have petite looks. Through out my 14 years of corporate career, I was lashed out by my male counterparts( and female as well) that opportunities came to me cos of my looks. This pissed me off so much and not to mention the trust issues I had. To avoid this perception , I spent so many early years of my career with a very distant and stiff approach with people around me.
It’s like no matter how a women looks, tongues will wag. Like you said, we need to believe in our own self.
So true! Hugs to you for going through what you did.
Love the way you write.Simple language.So much realism
Well said. I was about to write a comment when I saw another title "All the Single Ladies" and I read through it. I think the root cause for loads of issues faced due to looks is that being a single women is tough. Men also might be facing similar pressure from society when they are unemployed but good part is that the employment criteria only comes into picture when a person has reached a ~slightly matured age and, therefore, is very less impacted by what others say. But in case of women, the self-confidence is highly shattered due to early collisions with pre-conceived and baseless notions of society.
Mahima, what I like about all your newsletters is how effortlessly you have nailed the voice of it. That is such a difficult art and I am a bit jealous of that. Amazing stuff all round.
Regarding the content and the stories you weave around your topic , i love it. Keep writing.
Thank you Sanket, I work really hard on the voice so it is so lovely to read that it came across the way I wanted it to! If it makes you feel any better, I edit and re-edit at least 10 times before posting every edition. So not so effortless after all! :)
Let me not even get started on the complexion bit. I own my skin color today but it took me at least 25 years to shut the mouths and the snide remarks around the correlation between my skin tone and my "shaadi". Till date, as my family "hunts a groom" for me, there are comments around the skin tone and other addendums like the age, the height, "the dowry" and "the way I TALK". But it is so satisfying to call out such behaviors and show them a nice "EXIT" board from my life before they can inflict any further damage. :) Thank you for picking real stories and real behavioral issues to fight, Mahima. <3 Keep at it. Looking forward to tomorrow. :)
Thank you, Bindu! And a big hug to you for going through every mean comment people have sent your way, and emerging stronger. More power to you!
You evoke some powerful imagery in your comment writing.... Talent.
Haha. Thank you. 🙂 I think the issue is such. Credits to the real author, Mahima for taking me through such an emotional ride.
Good one Mahima. Gives a very good perspective of what women go through.
So happy to hear that. Thanks for reading, Vamsee!
Makes me think and carefully screen through my past for my own crimes of bodyshaming. Bihari married to tamilian I had to explain to her that her dark skin may invite some comments from my extended family and God was that challenging. And with my 12 yr daughter right now against wearing dress/ shorts I find myself in delicate situation again. Trying to balance between supporting her choices at the same time trying to tell her, it should be HER choice and not let others definitions of appropriate dressing dictate her choices.
Sensitivity is the key I guess. But it's thin ropewalk for sure
More power to dads like you, Mridumesh! Just the fact that we make an effort to unlearn all the regressive values that society and pop culture have taught us is everything! 12 might be old for it but have you read her the book Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls? It is full of stories of strong, successful women (of all colours, shapes and sizes). Sometimes, knowing that women like that came before her can be the most empowering thing to know for a young lady. ❤️
She has a copy of the book and read from time to time. She is pretty independent and assertive...
Her other favourite book is "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" which she tells me about 😂
This was only about dressing that I noticed recently..
Haha outsourcing parenting books to kids. What a masterstroke! :D