15 Comments
Nov 7, 2022Liked by Mahima Vashisht

Indeed a well-rested woman is a myth. To turn it into reality instead of 'reprogramming' women have to 'unlearn'. e. g. Renu should not have called her mother. Liked the post.

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Nov 8, 2022Liked by Mahima Vashisht

The missing piece, at least in cases where men are willing to do the right thing but are unable (or unwilling) to break out of the comfortable niche themselves, is conversation.

After some of these incidents, I really hope there were difficult, authentic conversations. Women are socialized to be sensitive to the needs of those around them. I realized for a long time I expected men to do this too and silently fumed when they didn’t. Then I took some steps toward asserting my need for rest or pointing out the unequal burden.

There’s no way out of the talking, if things are to get better in relationships. Thank you Mahima, for reminding us of the dire need for it.

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Nov 7, 2022Liked by Mahima Vashisht

One of the saddest posts in a while :(

I was first infuriated and then reflected on how I have treated my own mother all my life, and that I can do a MUCH better job. Thank you Mahima for pushing us readers to introspect and hopefully become better humans.

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Nov 7, 2022Liked by Mahima Vashisht

Mahima these are sheer horror stories. I cannot even imagine going through this. This also is a major reason women are opting to be childless I guess. I am childless, thanks to the ex husband who refused to treat his infertility... But God bless and save these women. Ma hai martyr nahi....

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Tbh I am a new mum and I know struggles are for real..but let me tell you..childless is also not a bliss..I mean ur baby's smile does give u enough and more happiness..so definitely not having child is not a solution..what it needs is FEW MORE (read alot more) men supporting and helping with day to day chores..n women not wanting to become super women every day

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To each their own. Having a child is a very personal decision and judging a woman for being childfree is as messed up as judging moms for a thousand different things.

Mom or not, no woman should have to bear this kind of apathy in her own home, from her own loved ones.

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Nov 7, 2022·edited Nov 7, 2022Liked by Mahima Vashisht

I have come to appreciate these very late probably in my 20s. A bit tangential but related point - One thing I am confused by is why the frozen food market does not exist in India? Like Haldiram has all sorts of frozen items in the US but not in India. What are your thoughts on this? Is there a gender dimension to this? Why do even students and single working professionals don't want this as an option? Do you think it could help?

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author

Sure, all hacks that make women's lives easier are welcome. But let's be clear that hacks are not going to solve patriarchy. Food isn't the problem here, patriarchy is

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Absolutely agree. Lack of that market is just a symptom.

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Nov 7, 2022Liked by Mahima Vashisht

Reading this made me teary eyed :(

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Dec 16, 2022Liked by Mahima Vashisht

This one made me go from shocked to sad to teary eyed! Thanks for writing these articles.

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There is so much to process and absorb. Like always, there is so much sensitivity with which you have compiled the anecdotes into a powerful piece.

It is definitely a post I would keep revisiting.

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author

Lot of good questions there. But before delving into these questions, it is important to point out that exploring women's failings in "not asking for help" reeks of victim blaming and, to some extent, gaslighting. Every issue of Womaning can end with a "advice for women" column, but I intentionally never go there because I think women are doing enough and busy enough and burdened enough without us piling more accountability on their plate. We are willy-nilly building enough strong women for the future because of the cultural shift that is slowly but surely happening around us. Question is, are we building men strong enough to be equal partners to these strong women?

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That said, I recommend the following two pieces as good starting points to explore the question "why women don't speak up" and also "what happens when they do" (this is not counting homes where men will simply physically assault women for daring to speak up):

https://womaning.substack.com/p/a-tale-of-two-coffees

https://womaning.substack.com/p/the-raja-beta-syndrome

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Thanks will read :)

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