Indeed a well-rested woman is a myth. To turn it into reality instead of 'reprogramming' women have to 'unlearn'. e. g. Renu should not have called her mother. Liked the post.
The missing piece, at least in cases where men are willing to do the right thing but are unable (or unwilling) to break out of the comfortable niche themselves, is conversation.
After some of these incidents, I really hope there were difficult, authentic conversations. Women are socialized to be sensitive to the needs of those around them. I realized for a long time I expected men to do this too and silently fumed when they didn’t. Then I took some steps toward asserting my need for rest or pointing out the unequal burden.
There’s no way out of the talking, if things are to get better in relationships. Thank you Mahima, for reminding us of the dire need for it.
I was first infuriated and then reflected on how I have treated my own mother all my life, and that I can do a MUCH better job. Thank you Mahima for pushing us readers to introspect and hopefully become better humans.
Mahima these are sheer horror stories. I cannot even imagine going through this. This also is a major reason women are opting to be childless I guess. I am childless, thanks to the ex husband who refused to treat his infertility... But God bless and save these women. Ma hai martyr nahi....
Nov 7, 2022·edited Nov 7, 2022Liked by Mahima Vashisht
I have come to appreciate these very late probably in my 20s. A bit tangential but related point - One thing I am confused by is why the frozen food market does not exist in India? Like Haldiram has all sorts of frozen items in the US but not in India. What are your thoughts on this? Is there a gender dimension to this? Why do even students and single working professionals don't want this as an option? Do you think it could help?
Indeed a well-rested woman is a myth. To turn it into reality instead of 'reprogramming' women have to 'unlearn'. e. g. Renu should not have called her mother. Liked the post.
The missing piece, at least in cases where men are willing to do the right thing but are unable (or unwilling) to break out of the comfortable niche themselves, is conversation.
After some of these incidents, I really hope there were difficult, authentic conversations. Women are socialized to be sensitive to the needs of those around them. I realized for a long time I expected men to do this too and silently fumed when they didn’t. Then I took some steps toward asserting my need for rest or pointing out the unequal burden.
There’s no way out of the talking, if things are to get better in relationships. Thank you Mahima, for reminding us of the dire need for it.
One of the saddest posts in a while :(
I was first infuriated and then reflected on how I have treated my own mother all my life, and that I can do a MUCH better job. Thank you Mahima for pushing us readers to introspect and hopefully become better humans.
Mahima these are sheer horror stories. I cannot even imagine going through this. This also is a major reason women are opting to be childless I guess. I am childless, thanks to the ex husband who refused to treat his infertility... But God bless and save these women. Ma hai martyr nahi....
I have come to appreciate these very late probably in my 20s. A bit tangential but related point - One thing I am confused by is why the frozen food market does not exist in India? Like Haldiram has all sorts of frozen items in the US but not in India. What are your thoughts on this? Is there a gender dimension to this? Why do even students and single working professionals don't want this as an option? Do you think it could help?
Reading this made me teary eyed :(
This one made me go from shocked to sad to teary eyed! Thanks for writing these articles.
There is so much to process and absorb. Like always, there is so much sensitivity with which you have compiled the anecdotes into a powerful piece.
It is definitely a post I would keep revisiting.